Saturday, October 22, 2016

So Close!

So the time has come, I am picking up my medications and going for training with the clinic nurse on Monday! I am to start my injections sometime next week whenever AF (Aunt Flow) decides to make an appearance!

It seems like forever since we started this process and to be honest it feels a little surreal to be so close to finally starting our cycle.

There are so many things going through my mind, I am feeling so many different emotions.I am excited first of all. I am also relieved to see things coming together. I am also anxious and scared. With our cycle there are still some challenges that could mean we don't even get an embryo transferred this cycle. For us that would mean taking a step back and saving up for a paid cycle. In order to consider our PGD test successful they want to have at least two affected embryos to be absolutely certain they have isolated the gene mutation. This means we need a lot of embryos as well to increase those odds. Eight are already covered in what we paid for the testing from what I understand, if there are any additional we will have to pay for them.

That fact is pretty nerve racking, but our RE seems tentatively optimistic.

I am getting anxious about how the stims are going to affect they way I feel physically and mood wise. Work is pretty busy - after packing up the library for the summer I am nearly finished putting it back in order and will be having the students in to borrow books while trying to finish up. I am in the process of trying to get volunteers to hopefully make things more manageable.

I am really nervous about Monday because I found out from one of the other ladies at the clinic that during the injection training they actually have you use an empty needle on yourself for practice. Which is a good thing of course, but I still hate the idea of poking myself with a needle - voluntarily none the less!

Anyways, I have a good distraction for the weekend. I am heading out shortly for some thrift store shopping with my best friend and then we are making pumpkin soup, carving pumpkins, and if the rain lets up decorating my front porch for Halloween. I will also be taking advantage and enjoying wine while I still can - gotta look at the silver linings!

Until next time,

Tuesday, August 30, 2016

Product Review: Monq Therapeutic Air

Hello lovlies!

I thought while we are waiting for IVF progress I'd try my hand at writing a little product review for a new favorite item of mine!

I have had an interest in aromatherapy for some time but found the idea of getting started (not to mention the cost of buying the oils) daunting to say the least. A couple months back an ad popped up on Facebook about Monq, a therapeutic aromatherapy inhaler - I was intrigued.

I decided to try the 'Zen' Monq which contains frankincense, orange, and ylang ylang to aid in stress and anxiety. It also happens to be their most popular blend! My package arrived yesterday and I was impressed. Upon opening the envelope I could already smell the oils. The device was in a plastic tube with a silicone pop off stopper. The item itself is a nice shade of lavender with the blend listed on the side with the Monq logo. The end has a faceted crystal led that lights up when you inhale - so pretty!

Being a non-smoker it was odd trying the Monq for the first time, but it wasn't difficult. The product is not meant to be inhaled into the lungs but breathed in through your mouth and then let out gently through your nose. The flavor is subtle and pleasant, and the aroma is amazing! I found it to be quite calming and relaxing. I have used it in moments of anxiety and have found it does calm my nerves.

Things to know:  The Monq is NOT an cigarette! It contains NO tobacco, NO nicotine, and NO artificial chemicals. It works by heating the oils and plant extracts into a vapor that you breathe. I can see how it might help smokers to quit as it gives the motion and act similar to smoking and some of the essential oil blends might give a calming feeling to curb cravings. I am thinking of trying to use it instead of snacking or drinking wine when I read and watch T.V. in hopes of loosing weight - we shall see! This product however, is not FDA regulated and is not intended to cure or treat disease. If you try it please be sure to read their disclaimer on their website!

Monq comes in 7 blends, they are as follows:

Zen:         frankincense, orange, ylang ylang
Vibrant:   ginger, lemon, spearmint
Sleepy:    lavender, lemongrass, valerian
Active:    black pepper, orange, sage
Healthy:  cinnamon, majoram, tumeric
Happy:    fennel, thyme, vanilla
Sexy:       jasmine, lime, patchouli

As for the price - it is pretty costly. One device with shipping cost me nearly $40.00 after conversion to USD. It should last from 150-200 puffs, using it as recommended (2-3 puffs, 2-3 times a day) it could last up to 2-4 weeks depending on frequency of use. The device is good quality, so I think its worth it, especially with the benefit of having essential oils pre-blended. I am really looking forward to trying the other kinds. I would love to see not only more blends in the future, but perhaps a reusable pen!

I love Monq so much I became an ambassador, if you are interested in trying it for yourself you can get 10% off by entering my coupon code LIFE10OFF at checkout. Go to and try it for yourself! Stay tuned, when I can try the other kinds I'll post an update!

As always, thanks for reading!

Thursday, August 11, 2016

Its hard to believe summer is nearly over already. I have about two weeks until I am back to work before the kids return to school! It has been a productive but restful summer.

We have made progress with our IVF and PGD. We have spoken to Genesis Genetics and they received my gene test results giving me a genetic diagnosis of Neurofibromatosis Type one, so its official. With my gene mutation confirmed Genesis had the information needed to proceed. We had a phone consultation with one of their genetic counselors and they sent us and my parents a cheek swab kit to help them develop our test - you can see an unboxing of the kit on my YouTube channel. I hope to vlog as well as continue blogging as we continue our journey.

Once they have received our swabs they will build the test they will use to screen our embryos, which should be ready 3-4 weeks after the swabs are received. The Genesis counsellor said we will likely be able to start IVF in September so everything is going well an moving along. As of now my focus is getting back to regular exercise, eating healthy and trying to bring my weight down. Since going on synthroid for my thyroid levels I feel like my weight has gone up, though not eating as well as I should is part of that for sure.

My aim is to do a kettlebell workout a minimum of 4 days a week, as well as walk. I am also thinking about doing a couch to 5k program if this heat wave ever breaks. I'll begin to post updates on my progress there too.

Until next time,

Wednesday, June 8, 2016

On turning 30

4 days until I turn 30...

Sometimes I still don't feel like an adult, then I look around and I realize I have a house with a mortgage, I'm married and planning a family. It's crazy. Jeremy keeps asking how I feel about turning 30, something he struggled with ; me, I'm happy. I have come such a long way to become who I am today and it took 30 years to get here, I have earned it! In my teens, as all teens do I was struggling to find my identity and figure out what I wanted to do and who I wanted to be. I also struggled with depression and anxiety. Then I started college and my first program, Professional Writing. I also found myself moving from country life to city life which was a huge culture shock. I had always been pretty independant so being away from home wasn't too bad, and I made some really good friends.I had discovered the identity I had been missing in high school and learned I fit in really well with geeky, nerdy types into fantasy, sci-fi, and gaming. I finally had the sense of belonging I was missing as most of my classmates were of similar tastes. However I was still struggling with anxiety and depression. I had finally gotten an official diagnosis upon leaving high school, Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Depression. I was on medication but had insomnia (I was sleeping only 4 hours a night), and there were many, many nights I sobbed myself to sleep. Trying to work 18-20 hours a week at a grocery store, go to school full time, and get homework done took its toll. I wasn't doing well in my classes and in my 3rd semester, just one semester away from finishing the program, I quit. I wasn't interested in it any more, I didn't feel it was going to take me where I wanted to go and I had convinced myself I was in love with my then boyfriend and that was all that mattered. Then we broke up, which only sent me further into depression. I had quit the medication as soon as I felt happy again and continued for some time working mostly minimum wage jobs. Then It felt like I had gotten a break. I got a data entry job entering TV listings for a local company. I got to use some of my writing skills to write synopsis for TV episodes. I was still struggling but it felt like things were getting better. Then my Grampa got sick. Its still a time in my life that is really hard to look back on, he was only 61 when he died of cancer. He had ignored the signs for too long and there was nothing the doctors could do. There are simply no words to describe that pain. Shortly after I was let go from the data entry job because I was not doing enough work, even though I was getting my assigned listings done each day. From then I tried to look for work but I had little luck. I was more depressed than ever and was really not in a good place. I was living with family and had no job, it felt like I was going nowhere.

Eventually I went to live with my Grandmother, who was living alone with my Grampa gone. I decided something needed to change and went to get career advice from a counsellor at Algonquin College. I chose a few programs that sounded interesting and my Grandmother paid the $50.00 application fee. I started work at a Tim Hortons to save money to pay for my tuition and September 2008 I started the Library and Information Technician program - this was pretty much the first day of the rest of my life!

This program was an amazing fit and I pretty much excelled in it. I still struggled with my GAD and my depression was more under control. My Grandmother was my rock and really helped keep me motivated through my studies. I owe a lot to her. I didn't really connect with my classmates outside of school, but I wanted to focus on my studies. I stopped using dating sites for the same reason. Eventually one semester away from graduating I decided to delete my dating accounts and had a message from a guy that sounded nice. I made an exception to my 'no dating' rule and ended up meeting the love of my life. I got back on my GAD/Depression medication and really began to heal, I graduated from married, and the rest is history.

I am such a different person today, I am happy...and thriving, life is good. It took 30 years to learn, change, and grow to get to where I needed to be. I feel like I can really leave the negatives in the past behind me and start a new decade as the person I was always meant to be. I can't wait!

Tuesday, May 31, 2016


We finally got the next bit of news we were waiting for...we recieved our OHIP (Ontario Health Insurance) consent forms for our funded IVF cycle. Our turn on the waitlist is coming. I spoke with a scheduling nurse at OFC and she said it typically takes about a month for them to get around to approving it, at which point a nurse will call to schedule our cycle.

That being said I went in to CHEO about a month ago for genetic testing to formally diagnose my Neurofibromatosis 1. Genesis Genetics who will be doing our PGD will need it in order to build the probe that will test our embabies. The genetic councillor has told me it will take 4-6 months for the results however, she said when our names came up she would try to hurry it along. So that should buy us some time. After that it will take a while for Genesis to get the test ready. I met with my RE and he confirmed that we cannot start until everything is in place because the samples taking from our embryos will need to be fresh.

In the meantime work is drawing to a close for the summer (Yay!). One school is getting painted, including my library so borrowing has already ended for the year. The painters were in over the weekend so I am looking forward to seeing it when I am at that school tomorrow. Over the summer they are replacing the carpet so I'll have to get books back, organized and packed up by the end of June. We also have a 'pit' which will be filled in.

Jeremy and I are travelling to the East Coast afer I finish work, we will hopefully visit his sister in New Brunswick and see Nova Scotia and PEI. We haven't sat down and planned it out yet. Then in August we are going camping at Presquille Provincial park, we were there last summer and enjoyed it.

I am feeling very positive and excited, and seeing it coming I am content to just enjoy life right now :)

Wednesday, April 13, 2016

Waiting is Not Easy...

It has been so long since I have posted an entry, there has been a few things happening in that time.

To update on the IVF front, we had our tests and all came back great! No cysts, no fertility issues, we are good to go. We were added to Ontario's funded IFV wait list as of January 14th. It seems they are taking on 500 patients per fiscal year and they are already through the first group. We seem to be in the second and they have already begun to contact people - including one who was added just six days before us!

I have been in near constant contact with other ladies from the clinic who are also waiting and it has been a Godsend. We have a running list of names and dates so we can get a very general idea of how the list is moving along. The problem here is the information we have gathered conflicts with what we keep getting told - so we really don't know what we can expect.

I spoke some time ago with the scheduling nurse at the clinic and she said it is looking like we can expect a call late fall or early winter. With the rate the OFC ladies' list is going to was looking like sooner.

I have also been in touch with Genesis Genetics, who will be taking care of the PGD portion of our journey. They need me to have a genetic blood test done confirming my Neurofibromatosis - I have never had one done so the clinic has referred me to CHEO for that.

Since I have been waiting to hear back on the testing for a while and my period has been awol for two months (pregnancy tests negative) I called to talk to my doctor's assistant. She notified him of my period and I am waiting to hear what the next step there is. She also told me they heard back from CHEO. They have triaged my case as 'semi-elective' and I am looking at May-July to hear back from them. I was a little taken aback by the time frame given how long ago I was referred. Dr. Haebe's assistant then re-assured me there is lots of time - I am looking at 9-12 months on the waiting list.

From what the ladies on the forum are saying, we are all being given so much conflicting information it is so frustrating. I understand though with this being a new program there are going to be bumps. I just hate all of the waiting!

In the meantime it is really nice to have such a great group of ladies to talk to who are going through the same thing!

Sorry for the rushed post, I am going to try and be more consistent in the future!

Saturday, December 19, 2015

Just a quick update!

So the long awaited time has arrived, this might be TMI for some, my period arrived! I never thought I'd be excited for this lol. It means I can start the initial testing for our IVF!

Today I got up early and made way to the lab for my day 3 of my cycle blood tests. They took five phials and from what I understand they will be checking for STD's (standard with IVF), as well as looking at my antibodies and hormone levels to make sure all is ship shape there.

Monday is ultrasound number one. This will be a baseline ultrasound where they will check how thick my uterine lining is, check my follicles and see if there are any cysts. The worst of this one is the fact I have to have a full bladder for it.

Wednesday is the one I am nervous about, the hysterosonogram. I have heard some horror stories of this one being quite painful. I need to take antibiotics starting the day before and take a couple advil beforehand to help with cramping. The good thing is the test is only 5 minutes and my mother in law is taking me so I don't have to worry about driving home sore. This is also great because I have some anxiety about this one.

Progress feels great, its nice to be able to DO something and get going after waiting so long!

In the meantime I am preparing for the holidays, making food, wrapping gifts, and trying to get my home super clean. If I have my way I will be starting those crazy meds soon and won't feel like doing much. Feeling so very lucky and happy!

I'll be back after my ultrasounds to talk about that experience, hoping it goes smoothly!